May. It has always been my favourite month of the year. Something about it just makes you think of something, fresh and joyous. Or maybe it’s just me.
In some countries May is the month of Spring, but here in south Africa its the last month in Autumn before the long, tedious, cold winter.
I’ve had this idea in mind, I always thought I didn’t like the winter. It’s cold and all the trees look dead and you can’t really do anything except wait around for summer to come again.
The same as thinking of the cocoon of a butterfly. Its this ugly, odd little white ball, the only good it is is when it opens up and the beautiful butterfly can come out and flutter around in the sun light.
But then a few days ago I was just standing outside, day dreaming in the crisp autumn weather, I was looking out at this specific tree in the garden. It’s my favourite tree, it has symbolized countless wonderful things in my life which I won’t bother to write about now, but I am very fond of this specific tree.
Most of his leaves had fallen off, and those that remained were yellowed and some even completely browned and dead. In my mind I though that it was sad, but I felt joyous!
And it came to me, winter is not awful. And there is nothing dark and deathly about it. It is the time of growth. It’s easily shown in nature, and I realize it is very noticeable for me in my own life too. For most people I think, even if we don’t realize it while we’re in it -the winters of our life.
We all grow and change and turn in to butterflies during tough times in our lives, during the lonely months and years, when we go through heart ache or depressions or suffer the pain of loss. We evolve most in those times.
But I always seem to be going through a “miserable” time in winter, last winter was my first heartbreak(an example of one of my winters), but that was one of the times in my life that I grew the most -I matured.
So even though I can’t go the beach and hang around in my swim suit for, what, the next five months, I’ll focus on evolving. Growing, just like that butterfly in it’s cocoon. Growing within myself to become a more beautiful person!
As for that tree, those dead leaves fall down to the ground, becomes mulch and eventually feed the tree again to become stronger and even more beautiful.
As for all those past sorrows and difficult winters, they have faded, turn to memories, taught me a few harsh lessons and they will feed me through the rest of my life.